Saix's Bad Luck Streak
by VexenIV
Summary: Saix is given rounds for the day. He ends up making something explode in Vexen's lab, falls down a flight of stairs, gets trampled by a herd of heartless and more. Crackish fic. No pairings intended


Saix's bad luck streak

Saix groaned as he began walking away from Xemnas's office. Not only had he slept late, he got given the duty of doing the rounds. Last time he did that Larxene ended up snagging his hair with a kunai when he portaled into her room without knocking. Marluxia was there with her and she was dressed thankfully; but of course she was just reinforcing the rules.

He decided to start with the furthest from him, which just happened to be Vexen's laboratory. Walking into the lab, Vexen was bustling about busily, not looking up at Saix's appearance. "What is it?"

"I got given rounds today," Saix announced and walked further into the laboratory. "What are you doing?"

"Testing, now leave," Vexen ordered and waved towards the door as he poured one chemical into another.

Saix didn't move as he just watched curiously. Vexen spun around the light the Bunsen burner and accidentally knocked over a few Conical flasks with chemicals in them.

"Shoot," Vexen muttered and quickly grabbed some paper towels to clean the mess up. Noticing Saix still standing there, he frowned. "What are you still doing here? I thought I told you to leave. Oh well…if you're going to stay you may as well make yourself useful." He threw the soggy paper towels at Saix who caught them in surprise. Vexen waved towards a sink in the far corner. "Do me a favour and burn them. Knowing those flaming dusks they'll do the complete opposite of what I say and burn them in a volcano somewhere. I swear, they'll set off an earthquake someday."

Saix did as he was told and set fire to them in the sink. After a few seconds there was a small explosion as Saix yelped in surprise and got hurled backwards.

Vexen was there a second later and was turning the taps on. "Don't you know anything?! You should have wet them before burning chemicals on paper towel! You were lucky none of those chemicals were lethal," he scolded and turned around the clean up Saix's black face with another damp paper towel.

Saix flinched away from Vexen's rough touch as he wiped at the black soot that surrounded his face.

30 seconds later, Vexen deemed Saix clean enough and kicked him out of the lab; literally.

Getting up off the ground, Saix glared back the closed lab door and began walking back up the stairs.

Walking towards the kitchen, the berserker zoned out as he walked. Suddenly, the phrase "Dance water dance!" rang out and Saix looked up just in time to be assaulted with a large tunnel of water.

A few seconds later, a giggling Demyx began laughing outright as Saix glared darkly in his dripping wet form at the Melodious Nocturne.

"Demyx!!" he snarled and said blond had only enough time to whisper "uh-oh…" before tearing down the hallway with a very angry berserker after him.

Just as Saix was about to catch him, he opened the door to the kitchen and rushed through, Saix only a split second behind him. Needless to say Saix hit the ground with a thud as a sack of flour dumped its contents on the blue haired man and stuck quite nicely to his skin.

Lying there in shock, Luxord peeked around the corner with Xaldin and they both started laughing at the sight of the Lunar Diviner under a pile of flour, sprawled out on the floor in shock.

Axel, Demyx and Roxas were in a fit in the corner, laughing as well.

"What's all the ruckus?" A female voice asked and Larxene stepped into the doorway before looking down. Cracking up laughing, she rolled outside the door and slid down the wall, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Saix got up with attempted calm and lost it when he caught sight of the camera in Axel's hands. "AXEL!!" he roared and lunged the redhead who quickly rolled to the side into a portal while Saix landed face first into the cushions on the couch. Groaning, he sat up slowly and attempted to brush off some of the clumps of flour. The only thing it accomplished was the white mixture spreading in a thick layer on his coat.

Turning on his heel, he left the room and stalked towards the pens where the heartless were kept. Xigbar was in the pens closest to a set of stairs, and Saix took no notice of them.

Getting down the fist couple of steps, he looked up at Xigbar who had turned to face him from the ceiling. "Yo! Saix, what's up? You're looking a little white." There was obvious amusement in his voice

"Demyx and Axel…" Saix grumbled.

Xigbar started snickering just as Saix rolled his eyes. Suddenly, Saix missed his footing and slipped down the next 15 stairs with a yelp of shock.

Lying there staring at the floor, face down, Xigbar's laughs filled the area loudly.

Xigbar was rolling about on the ceiling laughing so much that he fell off the ceiling and landed on Saix who was just managing to stand upright. This caused both of them to hit the ground again.

"Ow…" Xigbar whined and rubbed his back. "Well…that landing was softer than expected." Just then, Saix shifted beneath him with a groan and sent Xigbar sprawling to the side. "Oh…sorry dude… thanks for the break though."

"No problem…" Saix growled in sarcasm and stood up, attempting to brush some of the caked flour off his coat. Instead, his hand accidentally hit one of the buttons on the wall and a gate opened.

"Oh shit, Saix close it!" Xigbar yelled and rushed forward to try and herd the escaping flock of heartless back towards the gate.

Hitting the button again, the gate closed just at the last heartless escaped. "Open it!!" Xigbar yelled so Saix did before moving forward to help. "No! Stay!" The free shooter yelled again as the heartless surged towards the gate again, but turned at the last moment to run up the stairs.

"Shit, Saix, move in their way!" Xigbar yelled and began firing at the front of the herd to try and turn them.

Saix called his claymore and ran to the front of the flock, barely missing Xigbar's bullets.

One of the heartless lunged at him from behind and he was forced to turn, accidentally tripping up the stairs in the process as he stopped. Turning quickly onto his side, he managed to avoid being trampled too much by the escaping heartless as they ran freely through the castle.

"…you ok Saix?" Xigbar asked as he settled down beside the Lunar Diviner, who was STILL lying on the steps in shock.

"Y-yeah…sorry…"

"Its cool. I'll get Xaldin to help me hunt them down. He's been complaining of boredom lately. I'd get moving before you set anything else off."

"Probably a good idea…" Saix mumbled and picked himself up, face blank.

Walking back up the stairs carefully, he turned right and headed towards Marluxia's garden. Knowing the pink haired man, he'd find at least two of the members there.

Walking down the corridor, he turned left into a room and found Marluxia and Larxene chatting and laughing.

Walking a few metres into the room, Saix felt something wrap itself around his ankle a split second before he was yanked upside down sharply.

Another vine wrapped itself around his arms and waist, helping hits neighbour to hold him up.

Larxene turned around at the snarl that slipped from his mouth as he struggled to get free while more vines continued wrapping themselves around him. "Well well, speak of the devil," she mused, amusement evident in her voice.

Marluxia turned around in curiosity and his eyes opened wide. "What the…"

Saix was currently coating in white and black, hair plastered to his forehead. He was suspended upside down by a vine from a tree and had three more wrapped around him to keep him still. His hair was rumbled and had flakes of flour clumping it together so it hung upside down funny.

Bursting out into laughter, Marluxia and Larxene both fell over and couldn't move for about two minutes.

"S-Saix?" Marluxia asked as he stood shakily and walked over, giggling still. "Um…might I ask how you came to look this…undignified?"

Saix scowled as the vines tightened their grip on him. "I got attacked by Demyx and Axel, and got run over by a herd of heartless. Had Xigbar fall on me after falling down a flight of stairs and I have been captured by your vines."

Marluxia placed a crooked finger on his lips to try and hide his smile whole wrapping the other arm around his torso. "I'm guessing you got given rounds today…" he said after a few moment.

"You guessed correctly. Now, would you mind making your vines put me down please?"

"Oh! Yes certainly." He turned and began petting one of the vines while murmuring to it softly. They quivered together and there was more murmuring from Marluxia. He eventually stepped back and with a "careful now, he's had a rough day," the vines gently placed him on the ground with a small bump and unwrapped themselves from around his form. "Sorry, they're feeling a bit mischievous today,' Marluxia said with a smile and produced a hand to help him up.

Saix ignored the hand and stood by himself. Feeling his wrists where the vines had held him, he sighed as he realised that he would have more bruises to add to his collection. "Thankyou for you help. I should probably keep moving. XI, XII, good day." With that, Saix turned and left the garden.

Marluxia raised an eyebrow and turned to face Larxene with a raised eyebrow and a look of pure amusement on his face. She started laughing again as he started chuckling and shook his head. "Talk about back luck."

Saix walked towards the kitchen, where he thought he would find Lexaeus. He walked in and found Roxas attempting to reach a jar of honey on the top shelf. Turning at the sound of footsteps, the blonds face lit up. "Hey! Saix? Can you do me a favour while you're here and grab the honey for me please?"

Saix sighed and walked over to grab the honey for Roxas carefully. Placing it on the bench, he glanced about the room for the first time and noticed that the flour had been cleaned up.

Roxas growled in frustration as he tried to open the jar. "Saix, can you do me one more favour and open it please?" he asked as he held out the jar. The blue haired man blinked at it before taking it from Roxas and attempted to open it. Frowning, he twisted the lid harder and it still didn't come off.

Just then, Lexaeus walked through the door and raised an eyebrow questioningly at the figure he thought was Saix. "Do I want to know…?" He asked as Roxas shook his head.

"Hey Lexaeus…can you open the honey for me before Saix explodes please? Its being stubborn," Roxas complained as he backed away at the angry and frustrated look that was growing on the Lunar Diviners face, due to the honey.

"Sure," Lexaeus murmured and grabbed the jar from Saix before he ended up breaking it. Twisting it sharply, he quickly popped the lid and handed the jar back to Roxas, who smiled at him happily.

"Thanks!" He grinned and dug the knife into the golden coloured syrup.

Nodding to the other two nobodies in the room, Saix quickly left and began counting off members on his fingers. So far he'd seen Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Axel, Demyx, Roxas, Luxord, Marluxia and Larxene. He just needed to find Zexion now.

Turning on his heel he began walking straight for the library.

Walking in, the first thing he noticed was Zexion reorganising the books on the shelves. He already had 5 shelves clear and was clearing another shelf off. "…VI, what are you doing…?"

"Creating a dewy system in here. What does it looks like?" he grumbled and placed an armful of books into a tub carefully. "I'm sick of not being able to find books when I want them."

"Right…" Saix frowned as he stopped suddenly and looked down. Under his foot was an open book and was stepping on the pages.

It just so happened that Zexion turned around with another armful of books and noticed the same thing Saix did. Both sets of eyes widened; one in shock and the other in anger.

Zexion dumped the armful of books in the tub and stalked forwards, his visible eye flashing in anger. He shoved Saix backwards and picked up the book carefully.

Dusting it off, he closed it. Saix was lucky that it only had a rumpled page.

"How about you watch where you're going?" Zexion snarled and turned on Saix who begin backing up carefully. "How would you like to be stepped on. You may not appreciate books like I do but you should still treat them with respect! Books are just like any other valuable object that people own, only more damageable. How about you watch where you step next time. And how DARE you come into the library looking like that! Don't you know what flour does to books?! It…" by now, Saix had just about hit the shelves when he tripped on the wheels of the tub and fell backwards into the wooden bookshelf, hard.

There was just enough force behind the hit that the unevenly weighed bookshelf began tilting backwards and eventually hit the next bookcase. Books fell as bookcase after bookcase fell and knocked each other over. In all, about 20 of them fell before they hit the wall, stopping in their path.

Saix turned to face Zexion, in fear more than anything. The cloaked Schemer stood there motionless for once as he stared at the destruction before him. His eyes shifted to Saix's before he suddenly began screaming. "Get out!! You are never allowed in here again!! OUT!! NOW!!" He had a finger pointed at the door angrily. Saix quickly left.

Walking towards the Superiors office again, he shivered as he though of what he would tell the superior.

Knocking on the door, he stepped in as Xemnas looked up. His jaw dropped and his eyes opened wide in shock before he blinked and pulled himself together.

"Do I…want to know what happened to you this morning?"

Saix merely sighed and closed the door behind him with a soft click. "I suppose I had better make my report."

"I suppose…but I'm more interested as to how your current appearance came about…" Xemnas replied with an almost repressed smirk and chuckle.

"I found all the members and I can report what they're all doing…sort of…"

"Yes? Go on…"

"Vexen's testing like normal; Xigbar and Xaldin are chasing an escaped flock of heartless that have escaped…"

"That would probably be the ruckus I've been hearing…"

"Lexaeus is most likely helping Zexion reorganise the library."

"The library? What happened to the library?"

"I uh…accidentally knocked down an entire row bookcases…"

"Ah…"

"Roxas, Axel and Demyx are most likely off causing trouble; Marluxia and Larxene are in Marluxia's garden. Well…they were when I last saw them. And Luxord is probably off helping Xaldin and Xigbar or in his room…"

"Alright…now would you like to tell me what happened to you? I must say, I am extremely curious now."

"Um…alright…I got caught in the explosion of a chemical reaction."

"Vexen's fault?"

"Actually, it was mine…" he admitted sheepishly.

Xemnas merely looked confused. "Explain."

"Vexen asked me to burn something him after he spilt some chemicals, so I did. The reaction caused a miniature explosion."

"…Alright…go on…"

"I fell down a flight of stairs; had Xigbar land on me; …let the escaped herd of heartless escape and got trampled by them as they escaped; …got captured and hung upside down by Marluxia's vines in his garden. Had Demyx soak me in water and had a bag of flour land on me. Stepped on a book and now I'm banned from the library," Saix concluded with a shrug.

Xemnas sat there with pure amusement on his face as he sat there speechless. "…Maybe you'd better take a seat…" Xemnas motioned to a chair and Saix took it.

They sat there for a few moments as Xemnas watched him intently and waited. Sure enough, the chair that Saix was sitting on decided to break and fall sideways. Xemnas didn't miss Saix's look of shock as he fell sideways and hit the ground, the chair fall on top of him

Lying on the ground, Saix closed his eyes and muttered "I hate my life…"

Xemnas began chuckling and stood up to walk around and help Saix up. Offering the man on the ground his hand, Saix took it and pulled himself out from underneath the chair. "Great…another bruise…" he muttered and rubbed his hip.

"And that makes how many now?"

"Honestly…I don't know…"

Xemnas chuckled and led him from his office. "Any wounds other than bruises?"

"Truthfully, I've been too afraid to look…"

Xemnas chuckled again and picked up a casual conversation as they walked towards Saix's room.

Halfway there, they heard the footsteps of a flock of heartless coming up behind them. Turning around, about 50 of the armoured heartless were charging towards them and both Saix and the Superior managed to throw themselves to the side just in time to avoid being trampled.

Xaldin flew by a few seconds later while making a joke to Luxord and Xigbar.

They both stood there staring as the party passed them and they glanced at each other. Suddenly, the window Saix was leaning against gave way.

Saix shrieked as he fell backwards and Xemnas launched himself forward to catch him.

Dangling from the window, Xemnas was bent over and was holding onto Saix's wrist. "Saix…grab onto my hand with your other one and twist the hand I've got into a monkey grip. I won't loose you so easily then."

Saix did as he was told and before long, they both lay on the floor planting. "Jeeze…what did you do? Annoy the luck fairy?" Xemnas asked and chuckled.

"I think so…honestly…I'm not sure…"

Xemnas got up and offered Saix a hand. Saix took it and Xemnas pulled him up. Opening a portal, Xemnas nodded his head towards it. "This might be safer."

Saix nodded and stepped through it. Appearing in his bedroom, he immediately turned to look at the superior. "Thankyou. I might see you at dinner."

Xemnas nodded and left the room via another portal.

Saix walked into his bathroom and began shedding his flour caked clothes while turning the shower on.

It was warm for about 5 minutes before turning ice cold. Yelping, Saix jumped out of the spray and turned to face the water, slightly frustrated.

He put his head back under the freezing spray and managed to wash the rest of the shampoo out.

Putting on another set of clothes, Saix lay down on his bed and slept for a while.

About 4 hours later, Saix was woken up by a dusk that was delivering a message. The blue haired man yawned and sat up.

Looking at the clock, Saix noted that it was an hour until dinner, and the meeting was half an hour after that. Dismissing the dusk, he lay back down to sleep.

2 hours later, Saix was woken up by a dusk again. He glanced at the time and quickly jolted upright.

Grabbing his coat, he quickly put it on and opened a portal directly into his seat.

"Nice of you to join us VII…" Xemnas said primly and waited for an answer.

"Sorry Superior…I fell asleep."

"…so I can see… You still look half asleep…"

Saix sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I am…"

"Right. Stay afterwards please. I want to talk to you."

"Yes superior."

With that, Xemnas started rambling and ranting again.

A few minutes later, Saix fell asleep, again.

Xemnas glanced at Saix and raised an eyebrow, stopping in mid rant.

"Saix?"

Saix didn't even twitch. He was out like a light.

Xigbar started laughing and Marluxia gave him a sympathetic look. "Superior…leave him be. He's had a rough day."

Xemnas smiled lightly. "You're right. Let's cut this meeting short. Its been rough for most people."

"Alright!" Axel yelled and grinned at Roxas who rolled is eyes.

"Night superior." He said loudly and disappeared with most of the other members.

Xemnas portaled over to Saix and picked him up carefully. Opening another portal into Saix's room, he stepped through and placed the Lunar Diviner on the bed before removing his coat and boots.

"Night Saix," he murmured and slipped through another portal into his own room.

Getting ready for bed, he climbed in and sighed.

Hopefully things would be back to normal tomorrow.

**Okay...I came up with this idea AGES ago...back when I was trying to write 100 themes into stories. ...speaking of stories I need to finish that...sighs ah well...**

Hope you guys enjoyed it. :3

Let me know if you find any mistakes. I've read it 5 or 6 times and haven't managed to find any but if you do then PLEASE let me know.

Thanks guys!


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